Looking back, looking ahead

12 Dec

So today was the last day of the first semester of my second year of college. That’s a lot of ordinal adjectives. Also, I’m now in my final two days as a teenager, before I enter the abyss otherwise known as “the 20’s”. So I thought I’d just take some time to look back a little at both of these things.

This semester has been a really hard one for me – and I don’t mean that my classes have been hard. I didn’t necessarily like many of them considering that they were all basically Gen Eds, but if that was the extent of my problems this semester, then that probably would have been okay. As you guys know, on the first day of the semester I got some terrible news and things got off to a bad start for me, and it never really could come back up after that. Also, I guess I’ve begun to view the world in a different way than I ever have before, and while that itself isn’t bad, it can be unsettling and uncomfortable at times. But I also realize that this is a part of life that is important, because of course nobody sees everything the same way for their whole life.

Even though there were some bad days, there were also a lot of good things that happened too. I finally was able to find a job, and it’s one that I really enjoy and is easy to balance along with school. I volunteered at the animal shelter and the puppies, kittens, and three other volunteers named Lori, Chase, and Jason never failed to make me smile. I made some new friends and hung out with “old” ones more. I called my mom a lot when I had bad days, and that always helped. I feel like we got even closer this semester. I spent time with my family when I went home, and I went to a Sporting KC game with my dad. I feel like I’ve learned to appreciate people more and the time I have to spend with them.

As far as turning 20 is concerned, I have kind of mixed feelings about it! On one hand, I’m excited to leave behind the negative connotations that come with the title of “teenager”, because personally at age 19 and maybe 18 I never really identified with being a “teenager” anymore. I’m excited to start something new. On the other hand, I’m sad to leave behind the negative connotations that come with the title of “teenager”, because it represents new freedom, immaturity, teen pregnancy (jk), irresponsibility, being carefree, and it gives you an excuse for when you mess up. I’ve had a lot of really great experiences as a teenager, like my first trip to Europe, and some really bad experiences as a teenager. It’s weird to think that soon I will be moving into the next decade of my life (the one that precedes “the 30’s” – yikes) and that this age group is usually highlighted by real jobs, bills, marriage, and sometimes children. That is seriously disconcerting and also really freaky.


Overall, I’m excited to be moving forward. I’m glad that The Semester From Hell is over, and I’m pretty indifferent about leaving my teenage years, but I like to see these endings as opportunities for fresh starts. I am determined to make the best of them and enjoy every moment. I hope you guys enjoyed my first philosophical post. I recommend that you go listen to some Of Monsters and Men because they are the soundtrack of my life right now, and I’m going to spend some time with my family before I leave for Germany in 9 days!


P.S. I just convinced my mom to let me have a birthday party next week, you’re all invited (except I already know that Kendyl and Derek can’t come). But the rest of you have no excuse.

P.P.S. Sorry for ruining the title pattern of the weekdays, but I feel like it didn’t really fit with mine 😉

6 Responses to “Looking back, looking ahead”

  1. Noel Dokken December 12, 2012 at 8:57 pm #

    if I could change ONE thing the moment when I had turned 20, it would have been to tell certain people “NO” and continue on in my direction in life. However, I grew stronger since 20 and that’s what life is all about and in fact I had just celebrated my 28th birthday on the first of this month. I’m the one that is concerned about “That next decade” lol. Anyway, promise me this, just focus on finding you and deal with the older age (that makes you wiser) later. Have fun, work hard, and face life head on.

  2. kerri December 12, 2012 at 9:36 pm #

    i had problems with my teen years/high school. college was one of the best experiences of my life. now i’m in “that next decade,” back in college to make a major career change after twelve years of doing the same thing. i always said i’d never be able to work full time and go to school, but here i am. sometimes you surprise yourself, i guess. i also agree with growing stronger as you age. good luck!

  3. dirtdaubber December 13, 2012 at 1:25 pm #

    Happy birthday wishes to you – have a great decade!

  4. Simple Heart Girl December 13, 2012 at 6:53 pm #

    Enjoy your 20’s as much as you can. Life gets much more serious (at least that’s how it usually goes) once you begin your 30’s.

  5. The Whiteboard December 13, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

    This is a great blog for an insight into the college experience! We’ll certainly recommend it to some of our students who might need a little confidence to jump into their first college years. Thanks for liking our post about Yi Lei Tan’s acceptance into Cambridge at http://whiteboardblogging.com/2012/12/13/cambridge-student/ !

  6. lilypetal91 December 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm #

    I found myself nodding along whilst reading this. I’m turning 22 in April and more comfortable in my own skin then I’ve ever been. I think every stage of life has it’s perks and presents it’s challenges, but I’ve learnt to ride the waves and enjoy doing it. The people who are closest to your heart right now will probably always be and that’s a lovely thought. Great blog 🙂

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