HAPPY LEAP DAY!!! See it’s funny because I put LEAP in the title! And you’ll find that it’s relevant because part of this post is going to get explicit.
So what’s been going on with me? Hmm. I’ll just get right into business, last Thursday I saw my very first live skunk. Yes, a skunk! Thankfully it was about 20 feet away but it was crossing Drury Lane when I was walking back after the basketball game and it was kind of jogging towards the tennis courts. I didn’t know skunks could jog but then again, I’ve only seen them dead up to this point.
Friday – my group and I got accepted into the Summit Park apartments! So this means we will be doing our service project with the animal shelter too. I’m so excited! Friday night, Caitlin and I went to a flea market named “STD Flea Market” (Classy Springfield, real classy), and it was kind of fun. Then a coffee house called Big Momma’s was having a Drury night so we got free mugs and free drinks, anything we wanted off the menu. That was awesome. There was also karaoke in the back room, which was cute. There were about 50 students and a mid-forties-aged large dancing woman that nobody knew where she came from, but she was appreciated for her entertainment value. Caitlin and I had pretty much decided we weren’t going to sing but then Alexis entered our name in to sing “Born to be Wild” which we didn’t even know that song, and the words were even on the screen but we still didn’t even sing it that well. But it was funny and not too embarrassing. Then we rented a movie from redbox that was rated R called “Perfect Student” which was the worst movie I’ve ever seen. It was supposed to be scary but it wasn’t even close. No cursing, no nudity, no sex, no violence, nothing. Could have been rated G.
Saturday – by far the most important (and only) thing that happened was when me and Caitlin went to go see the Vagina Monologues. (Derek (and Nick if you ever get on here), it might be wise to stop reading at this point.) It was a fundraiser by a group on campus called “V-Warriors” which I think stands for Vagina Warriors, and their cause is against domestic abuse. So it was $5 to get in and we got to hear almost two hours of… vagina monologues. It’s exactly what it sounds like.
Here’s an excerpt from one of the pieces called “My Angry Vagina.”
“All this shit they’re constantly trying to shove up us, clean us up — stuff us up, make it go away. Well, my vagina’s not going away. It’s pissed off and it’s staying right here. Like tampons — what the hell is that? A wad of dry f***ing cotton stuffed up there. Why can’t they find a way to subtly lubricate the tampon? As soon as my vagina sees it, it goes into shock. It says forget it. It closes up. You need to work with the vagina, introduce it to things, prepare the way. That’s what foreplay’s all about. You got to convince my vagina, seduce my vagina, engage my vagina’s trust. You can’t do that with a dry wad of f***ing cotton.”
Other titles included: The Flood, A Vagina Happy Fact, The Vagina Workshop, The Vulva Club, and The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy. (Among others)
Also they were selling chocolate vaginas. I love chocolate but I probably could not have eaten one of those.
I think I want to perform the Vagina Monologues next year. You’re all invited!!
Monday – a very obscure girl that I may or may not have told you about was eating a cucumber in class. She had the whole entire thing and was just taking bites out of it as if that’s the normal way to eat a cucumber.
Tuesday – Went to the fitness center, and there was a bat on the ceiling! I was just ellipticalling merrily when a maintenance guy with a huge butterfly net came in with a ladder. He didn’t get the bat though. Later, at 10:10 me and Caitlin went to see the Woman in Black, which was scary and we screamed a few times. It’s awesome to go to late movies in college. Then there were tornadoes in Branson when we got back to school.
And I’m skipping 8am photography tomorrow because I don’t need another workday for this assignment, so I get to sleep in as long as I want! It will be just like my Thursdays last semester! :’)
Happy leap day, go do something quixotic to celebrate.